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*Worth a Thousand Words

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Todd Bertuzzi Quotes

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“It is what it is.”Bertuzzi

 

When questioned yesterday about why he thinks he has so much fan support to be so far ahead in the all-star voting Todd Bertuzzi responded with: "I'm pretty sure it has to do with the Minnesota fans. They love me over there so I think they really want to catch me for another game."

 

Todd Bertuzzi when asked about the high level of hitting in preseason: "What do you think this is? Tennis?"

 

"You don't have to be a genius to figure out why people would rather watch Vancouver than Toronto." -- Todd Bertuzzi

 

"I appreciate your concern for my well-being, but I'm a big boy. I can take care of myself." --Bertuzzi

 

Reporter: "Britney Spears or Christina Aguilera?"
Bert:".......both!"

 

"Ask Mo," said Todd Bertuzzi. "I think I broke his leg. I clutched him so many times. They had the helicopter door open for a while. It was pretty cool.”

"Would Bertuzzi go up again?”

"No, not again,” he said (Hedberg, Cloutier, Naslund, Morrison, Bertuzzi and Linden went on a helicopter to visit firefighters in Kamloops.)

 

"I've always wanted to stay in Vancouver. This is my home; this is where my kids were born; and this is where I became the player I am today." -Bertuzzi

 

"Bertuzzi, who's your daddy?" - Larscheid

 

"We got a new leader, there’s another a guy out for the Rocket Richard trophy his name's BERTUZZZZZI" -Tom Larscheid

 

"Look out there’s a freight train on the loose baby!" -Tom Larscheid on Todd Bertuzzi

 

Nazzy: "The exhausting part of these trips is that you're mostly baby-sitting a 28 year old baby, Todd here. It's things like these you have to live with."

[later... ]

Reporter: "Markus said something about... travelling is like taking care of a 28 year old baby."

Bert: [laughs] "That's what he said? That's brutal!"

 

"He's bigger, louder, and better looking." -- Naslund on Bertuzzi

 

"One thing about Bertuzzi. His head gets in the way of his swing, he's got a big head. You can't keep an orange on a toothpick." -- Brad May about Bert Golfing.

 

"If you've never taken a slapshot to the foot before...it kinda hurts a little." -Todd Bertuzzi

 

"It's a kick in the nuts." -Todd Bertuzzi

 

"Well, we have a few guys on our team that think they are DJs," said Bertuzzi. "So, we listen to everything from rock to ABBA. We cover it all. For me, I need softer music. I have high blood pressure, so I have to calm down."

 

"Nazzy says he's going to try and help you win the [All-Star] MVP award so you can get the car," a reporter told Bertuzzi after practice last week. "Yeah, right," Bertuzzi responded. "Markus doesn't give me anything for free...No, I don't think there will be any MVP awards for me."

 

Bertuzzi brought his son to the dressing before a game and was letting him wander around dragging a hockey stick. His son wanted to go out the door but was blocked by Langdon and Bert slyly says "Just use your stick on him son."

 

“I told him he just couldn't do it anymore. And he can't. He should pack it in. He's finished. - Vancouver's Todd Bertuzzi, responding to Detroit's Chris Chelios after Chelios called him 'fat.'

"Dan?" Todd Bertuzzi says, peering thoughtfully across the dressing room at his team's new goalie. "He's a lunatic."

 

"I can do much better than that," Bertuzzi, after being asked do you dine at Chelis Chillis (owned by Chelios).

 

"No Clue. Frustration I guess." - Bertuzzi when asked why Tommy Salo freaked-out and popped him in the back of the head well after Naslund had scored on the powerplay.

 

"No, Langer loves me too much, he wanted to stay and hang with me."- Todd Bertuzzi when asked about Darren Langdon rooming with him while he was sick.

 

"For some reason we came out of golfing and left it all on the course." - Todd Bertuzzi on a drubbing at the hands of the Coyotes last season after a team golf tournament in Phoenix.

 

"We're young and we're going to be around a while." - Todd Bertuzzi

"There's nothing like playoff hockey and you have to love it. It was all I thought it would be." - Todd Bertuzzi on the 2000-01 playoff series vs. Colorado.

"You can't take runs at him and think you are going to hurt him. He's so big and strong you're going to end up on the worst end of it more times than not. You just have to try and wear him down, slow him down and take away his space and if you get a chance to finish a check on him, you do it." -- 4/26/02: Detroit's Kurt Maltby on checking Canuck winger Todd Bertuzzi

 

"I'm sick and tired of winning the green jacket every year."-- Todd Bertuzzi referring to his plus/minus last year which was one of the worst in the NHL.

 

"They should take the tapes of our last two games and send them to the US Government," groaned Todd Bertuzzi after setting up the overtime winner for the second game in a row. "They could make Saddam Hussein watch them as torture. He'd give up any information after watching 5 hours of that garbage." - Todd Bertuzzi

 

"Sometimes it doesn't end on the ice. It continues on the plane, where Bertuzzi sits at the front like Dennis Miller, slicing and dicing his way through the team with gut-splitting barbs. No one is spared, not even the guy who feeds him passes every night. During one particular flight home Bertuzzi started jabbing Morrison about his hair. "You're 24 and bald" Bertuzzi blurted out. For a few seconds there was silence. Then came the response from the back of the plane. "I'm 26 a*shole." -- 4/3/02: Gary Mason of the Vancouver Sun about the chemistry between the Bertuzzi/Naslund/Morrison line.

 

"Nahh, they weren't doing that. They were congratulating me on my season. Then they were asking how my kids were." -- 4/19/02: Todd Bertuzzi when asked what kind of trash talk the Wings were giving him.

 

"It's his own fault for getting hit. It wouldn't have been bailing out [had Chelios altered his course to avoid Bertuzzi]. It would have been smart. Why would you want to get hit? It doesn't take any brains to get hit by a 245-pound guy." -- 4/23/02: Brett Hull when asked about Bertuzzi's hit on Chris Chelios in game 3 of the Canucks/Red Wings series.

 

"It would have absolutely sucked." -- 3/29/02: Todd Bertuzzi when asked how devastating it would have been to lose to Columbus on 3/28/02.

 

"It'll be pretty neat seeing my head bouncing around everywhere. I'm sure it's going to be a good smacking around toy." -- 3/2/02: Todd Bertuzzi, on having his likeness immortalized in a Bobblehead Doll.

 

“You're on my stick, and I haven't scored a goal in 4 games!” --Todd Bertuzzi (04/24/03, when a reporter stepped on his stick in the dressing room).

 

"Yeah, Markus can catch him. He's capable. On any given night, Markus can ring up a handful. He's very confident. Plus, he gets to play with me." - Todd Bertuzzi, when asked if Markus Naslund can catch Mario Lemieux in the NHL scoring race.

 

"One, I didn't get a vote. Two, there should be a Florida recount. He is the beloved son here in Vancouver. I'm the red-headed stepchild." -- Bertuzzi on Naslund being named one of the 10 most beautiful people in BC."

 

"Bertuzzi's wallet is like an onion...everytime he opens it up, he cries." -- Morrison, after making Jason Strudwick pay for both of their pre-game meals when Chicago was in town.

 

Defenceman Ed Jovanovski warned his teammates to be careful in their critiques on Todd Bertuzzi’s TV role. "We might rib him a little bit," smirked Jovanovski. "He's a pretty sensitive guy though."

 

Bertuzzi, who regularly practises his brooding scowl when dealing with the media, admitted the thespian experience was kind of fun. "It was something different," said the NHL all-star. "People around were good to me. It was enjoyable. I would do it again." So will he hit the boards after he retires from the ice? "I'm not saying I'm going to win the best actor or anything but it was fun," he said shaking his head.

Bertuzzi's fans will have to make a choice come Saturday. The Canucks play in Calgary that night at about the same time the show airs. "I'm sure I'll get a copy,"
Bertuzzi quipped. "Does anyone want to talk about hockey?"

"I had this talk just the other day with a guy," Vancouver Canucks star Todd Bertuzzi said. "In the U.S., you have baseball, football, there are so many people passionate about so many sports. There isn't the interest in hockey. Obviously, in Canada it's a pastime and if there's a criticism it spins into something bigger like a tornado and it just keeps going and going. I think it's unfair."

"I'm not going to tell you a thing. You want him to feel good? No, I feel great." -- 4/23/02: Chris Chelios when asked a day later about the hit by Bertuzzi

"I want my teammates to know I'll be there at crunch time." - Bertuzzi

"You could see our confidence building on the bench," Bertuzzi said.  "It's like a train -- it just kept going and going."

"Big, mean AND nice, Todd Bertuzzi" - Ron MacLean post Game 5

"He's so strong that if you try to out-muscle him, he's going to make you look bad and he's going to dump you on your rear." - Barret Jackman on Todd Bertuzzi

"It's cool," Bertuzzi said of having his likeness on a doll. "It's an honor for me, but right now we have to worry about the team."